I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I got her a Nickelback box set.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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