i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
