Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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