Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
no you cant smoke seaweed
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
