Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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