They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
