she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
