I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
