So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
