Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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