Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
