i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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