remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
