Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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