RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Randomize
