I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize