so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
