Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
