He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
