I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
