I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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