erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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