You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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