this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
