if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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