apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
