Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
