Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
