Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
