i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
