people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize