so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
