So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
