it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
