there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
