People in love make me want to vomit
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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