it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
