You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
