i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
