Hey man sorry I got all grabby
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
