Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
