Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize