So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
