So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
