I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
