I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I skipped work to stalk him.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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