nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I yelled at your uterus for you.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
