I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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