People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
