my vag is so smooth its legendary
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
pray to the hookup gods
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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