its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
