Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We have started to decorate penises.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
