Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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