We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Randomize
