I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
