i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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