Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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