So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
two words: eviction party
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
