theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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