Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
