Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
